Saying goodbye to a pet is one of the hardest things I've
had to deal with in life. My pets become my family, they are like children to
me, so I cherish every moment I have with them and it's absolutely heart
breaking when it's time to say goodbye.
Last fall my father's
14 year old Golden Retriever wasn't doing well, her hips were getting bad, she
wasn't eating well and we could all see that her quality of life was fading. I
brought up the subject of putting her to sleep a few times with my dad, and like
any pet owner, he was hesitant to do it, but I reminded him that he had to put
her needs ahead of his own personal feelings. Finally he could see that it was
her time and he took her in to be put to sleep, even though it was hard, he
realized that she was in pain and wouldn't be getting any better. About a week
after he lost his dog, his wife also passed away, and we could all see he was
lost-everyone he had been taking care of had left him in such a short amount of
time and he was left with a sad and empty house and no one to care for. When Sally, his dog, passed
away I asked him if he would be interested in getting a new puppy and he said
he wanted to wait awhile, his wife was sick, and he didn't know if a new puppy
would make things harder and he also wanted some time to heal from losing Sally which I
understood. When his wife then passed away and I could see how lonely he was I
asked him if he would now be interested in getting a puppy? He wasn't sure but
did mention it a few times and seemed to be on the fence about it....
I grew up on a farm and have had animals my whole life so
I've been through the entire process of getting, and then losing, a pet several
times throughout life but the hardest one yet was my house cat, Stinker. I got
Stinker as a kitten when I was about 10 years old and he was my shadow- he slept
with me, was always on my lap, loved to be carried around, and watched me change from a child, into a teenager, and then onto an adult. When he was about 10 years old I
started to notice some changes in him, he wasn't eating as well, was getting
constipated, and losing weight so I brought him to the vet and, after some
testing, he was diagnosed with kidney disease. Of course I was devastated with this news but the
vet told me we could get him on medication, switch his food, and do other
various things to keep him comfortable, but it wasn't a battle I would
ultimately end up winning, I just had to appreciate the time I had left with
him. I did what the vet said, I got him on meds, changed his food, put water
bowls all over the house and kept a close eye on him, even checking into
getting him a kidney transplant. For awhile he was really good, but he did also
have his bad days where he wouldn't eat and was very lethargic and sick which always reminded me that my time with him was limited. I
continued to take him to the vet for regular blood tests and, as his disease
progressed, he had to get IV's to refresh his system which really helped him
out, but again, was only a temporary fix. Luckily with my animal experience I was
able to do the IV's at home and handled all of his various problems quite well
but it still was so emotionally draining to watch this disease progress, and at
times I felt helpless. When he turned 13 he had lost a lot of weight over the years and it got to the point where I had
to give him IV's more and more often and I finally had to sit down and ask
myself whether I was keeping him alive for my own selfish reasons or if it was
time to put an end to his suffering and let him go. In the end I decided that
his quality of life had gone down to a point that he had more bad days than
good and that I had to say goodbye. I called my vet and she agreed so I took
him in the next day and had him put to sleep, it was one of the hardest days of my
life!
When you take a pet in to be put to sleep it's an extremely
sad thing to have to go through but the vets work very hard to make it as
peaceful and humane as possible. I said I wanted to stay for the process (you don't
have to watch if you don't want to) so
she gave him a sedative which worked almost instantly and that gave me a few
minutes to say my goodbyes. When I was ready she gave him the second shot which
stops their lungs and heart and he was simply gone in a matter of seconds. When
you lose a pet there are a lot of options as to what you can do with their
body, cremation is a common one, you leave them at the office and the vet
clinic takes care of handling the details and when the process is finished you
can come back and get their ashes. They have a wide variety of earns if you are
going to keep the ashes, or you can also choose to have the ashes put in a
communal burial plot. If you don't like the idea of cremation you can also take
your pet home and bury them where you choose. Pet cemeteries have also become
widely available in areas where you can purchase a plot and bury them and have
a grave marker, similar to human cemeteries. We all have our own ways of
dealing with the process of losing our pet but it certainly is nice to have
some options as to how you want to remember them.
When I got home after putting Stinker down I didn't even
want to walk in the house, I knew it would feel empty and seeing his toys and
bowls all over the house would just make me cry. I sat outside for awhile and
just thought about how we had such a good life together and how I would never
forget him, and I was glad his suffering was over.
A friend of mine had
a litter of kittens born a few weeks before Stinker died and she asked me if I
wanted to take one, and my first thought was no, how could he ever be replaced?!
Didn't I need some time to heal? How could I just move on from one cat to
another right away? I also thought about how empty my house felt, how I was
used to having a kitty by my side and how I missed being purred to sleep at
night. I eventually went and saw the kittens and took two home, a brother and
sister pair, and I am so glad I did!
Being a dog breeder I hear stories of loss all the time,
customers call me and tell me how they've lost a pet and it's time to get a new
one. Some people take years before they are willing to get another pet, some
people contact me within days of losing their dog, and others get a puppy
before their older dog is ready to pass because they can't imagine life without
one. The most common decision I hear is that they don't want to get a puppy the
same color as their previous dog because it would be too much of a reminder of
the other one, that I totally understand, Stinker was solid Black, my two
kittens were not, Donavan is a Tabby and Abbey is a Mackeral Tabby, and it took
me six years before I got another Black one.
I found getting the kittens was very therapeutic, I realized
I wasn't replacing the one I had lost but was starting over with a new pair and
it felt great to come home to a house that felt whole again. It had been a long
time since I had kittens and the experience was wonderful! I finally had
someone to purr me to sleep at night again, they were hysterical to watch
wrestle and roll around the house, and I loved it that they had a special bond
by being siblings and being together since birth. Those two little babies made
the sadness of my loss not hurt so much and helped start a new chapter of my
life. Donavan and Abbey are now turning 10 in March of 2014 and I am dreading
the double digit ages because I realize that some day I am going to have to go
through the process of losing not only one again, but two, and it will be just
as heartbreaking as it was with Stinker. I cherish the time I have had with
them and I hope that they will continue to live for several more years with me.
One thing that I did learn with losing Stinker is that I wouldn't hesitate to
go out and get another kitten when Donavan and Abbey pass, life is too short to
not have those little paws running throughout the house!
As for my dad, an employee of his got a Golden puppy and
told us that the breeder still had one available that was the color he
preferred (he likes Dark Goldens which are hard to find.) I talked to him about
it and he decided he would like to meet the puppy and possibly take him home.
That morning I took him shopping for toys and supplies and I could already see
a change in him, he was excited about something, and I hadn't seen that in
awhile. When we got to the breeders house we walked in and I knew that Barron
(what my dad named him) was coming home! He has truly been therapeutic and a
blessing for my father, and I am glad he didn't wait too long to get one. Yes,
the puppy stage can be very trying at times but it gives my dad something to do
and to focus on, the house doesn't feel lonely anymore, and now that Barron is
72lbs. you can barely get in the door without noticing his presence!
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